My topic: Trust!

Hi, hello!

I’m back, I believe, and I think I’ll stay here for a little while. Even thought this is my blog, so whatevers.

My brilliant mind came up with the idea of doing a ”my topic” space in which I’ll give my rant in certain situations or whatever.

This evening I was in a park close to my place with some friends just chilling, having a good time. To brag out, I’m 16. Point is, I was there, chilling when I saw my parents jeep coming to where I was and stopping there. I was relaxed because I don’t care, I’m doing good, you know?

My mom turn the window down and calls me: ”Kid, come on we are going to see your grandma, she’s sick bla bla bla is late.”

I’m like ” can I stay? I won’t do anything there.” She’s: ”No, you better come and shut up.”

I said goodbye to my people and then hopped in the jeep. She starts talking stupid bussines. Like she wont allow me to go there again because those are bad people, they are not my age, bla bla bla. What the actual fuck mom?

When we get to my grandma’s place she says she does not TRUST me. I’m like: ”well, that makes us two.” Obviously, i said that in my head because I still want to live.

My mom is a pretty strict women because of how she grew up. Sometimes she wants to be the cool mom but she cant because oof what she believes in. Don’t get me wrong, I kinda trust more my mom than my dad, but still there is some lack of trust right there. Problem is my dad doesn’t think. If I ever come up to him tellinng him I like somebody I know he’ll just hit me and then he wouldn’t like to hear me again. In spite, my mom does hear me but then she thinks too fast and stars talking yeez and blames me for the most minimal thing.

And that’s why I don’t trust my mom. How can I feel confortable with myself next to you if when I want to express myself you only scream at me? HOW MOM?

I’m done with that type of thing. You get what you earn.

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This is me.

If you need me at 3 AM, you’ll have to understand that maybe I can’t drive down to ur place, even tho I’d love to, but always remember I’ll be there on the phone calming u down, talking to u, telling u i love u to the moon and back.

If you want be to drive by so we can cuddle, and watch Netflix and so you can grab my butt, I’ll do it. I’ll be there just in a minute. If you want me to make sandwiches for both of us, I’ll complain and make you do it. Or sometimes, I can do it. No problem.

If you want me to love you so inconditionally, I’ll do it, because there’s honestly nobody that I love more than you.

If you love playin video games, I’ll be by your side making up stupid questions and moking around because my mission is to bother u.

Everyday you’ll be my center. I’ll be thinkin bout u twnety-four / seven. You are my life, you’ll be my everything.

If you want some Wendy’s but I prefer Taco Bell, it’s okay. Other day we can eat Wendy’s, because I persuaded u with some kisses and some tickles. Just like u like it.

If I’m your girlfriend, I’ll make u the most original gifts; you’ll have to buy a special box for all the letters I’ll make u. You’ll love me because I’m way too cute. Or something like that.

Sometimes you’ll feel jealous because I prefer Justin Bieber over you, but remember u r the one I kiss every day and the one i tell the i love you’s. You are mine and I’m yours.

If we are together, you’ll never have to worry on me cheating. I’m loyal as fuck, because I understand my responsability and my love for u is so big that it’s impossible for me to look at someone else that’s not u. I’d rather look at u forever-

I’ll watch u when u fell sleep while I pass my hand thru ur hair. I’ll kiss those sexy lips everytime we are fighting. I’ll laugh at ur face when u r mad because u r the cutest thing ever. I’ll grab ur butt because you are mine.

You’re mine and I’m yours.

B A B Y

Hi. It’s cold as fuck and I feel like if you don’t hug right now I’m going to die. For real.

You know, I remember that time you holded me down so bad. When you kissed me the first time and I felt that my world was upside down. When you grabbed me by my neck and didn’t want to let go. When you told me you loved me and if you had to die for me, you’ll never hesitate.

Complete bullshit. You took away so much shit from me and now the only thing I have left are the memories. And this ones don’t help me at all.

You were such a hot mess, so sweet and so nice. So warm so kind. I liked you like way too much and you fucking broke my heart, baby baby.

Remember I used to call you baby? I still do, in my mind. I still want you to come back and kiss me and kiss me again but you fucking hurt me and I’m so mad at you. I’m so mad at myself.

Can you imagine us together for real? I saw our future, our plans our thing. When you actually saw just bones and skin.

I wanted to hold your hand forever and ever, and never let you go. I wanted a relationship. I want you and only you because of how you where and how you loved me back then.

Now I don’t really know what I want. I don’t know what I’m looking for because you took every inch of me. I’m still busy loving you. How can that be possible?

Papa ou t’est?

I’ve realized something really important. 

Four months ago, I started to hear this song. Usually, I just do songs in english, but I found out about Stromae: this half french half belgic guy, that writes amazing meaningfull songs.

But the song I’m referening myself to is called ”Papaoutai”. It’s actually written in formal french as: ”Papa, out t’est?”, and for your understanding is ”Dad, where are you?”.

I watched the whole video like a thousand times and I’ve heard the song like a billion times. I dare you to watch it and look for the lyrics because it will chance your way of seeing things.

For example, sometimes I fight with my dad because he’s such a jerk. Sometimes I wished I live by myself and to never know about him or my mom again, but at least I have a dad.

Stromae lost his dad at the age of 9, I believe, and even when he was alive he wasn’t there for him. He wasn’t present. I did some psycoanalising and understood something that comes up in the music video.

In some scenes, there are this different couples dancing: a mother and her daughter, a dad and his son, and some thiefs with their sons. For me, this means that even the good people and the bad people have somebody to look up to, they have someone that will help them learn or will critize them. But at least they have somerhing,

And he has nothing.

His dad, in the video, is represented as a doll. No feelings, no emotions, just a figure that, even tho fisically is there, emotionally is absent. At the end of the video, the kid that was actually singing the song and representing little Stromae, sits beside his ”dad” which is grown up Stromae and he becomes a doll.

Here, me psycoanalizing, he says that he likes it or not, at the end, he’ll end up just like him. Because is all he has learned.

With this I want to tell you that,  you never know when is the last time you are seeing, not only your dad, but you love ones, so why don’t you tell them you love them? Just a small text, a letter, a word can change a lot.

Love, Rap x

Diets and beach bodies.

This is my opinion about the topic above.
Diet sucks as well as the working out enormus thing. Having to control the way you eating and what you eating is not the best way to spend the rest of your human life.
With this I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do diet or prepare your body for summer, cause im actually doing it as well, the problem here is that not eating what your mind and heart is telling you is the most desperating moment in life.
Weirdly, we dont have the same metabolism, so some of us have to stick to the diet line and other ones just fly around eating KFC and McDonald’s.
I think is not the diet what sucks, I think is life. In almost all it ways.

4 Questions New Bloggers Should Ask Themselves

W in Wonderland

macbook-pro-sachinkhosla

Every new emerging blogger on the block has difficulties to find out what to write about, how to be original and what’s the niche they’re gonna use to keep followers coming back. Even though my Bloglovin stats are evolving quite steadily and so are my Twitter and Instagram accounts, I’m always wondering what it is people like about my blog and what triggers them to keep coming back (especially a shout out to my daily in big numbers returning Dutch, American and English fashionista’s). Four questions new bloggers (should) ask themselves.

  1. How to be original? A question I’ve been asking myself repeatedly. Most important thing is to stay true to your own style. We already have a Chiara Ferragni, so why try to do exactly what she did? Stay unique and original by staying true to your style and your way of writing (diary style, sarcastic, guiding or maybe informational?)…

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